Monday, November 9, 2015

Movember....More Than Just a Pretty Stache

I'm just going to throw this out there.

I'm not a huge fan of balls. Yep. The ones you're thinking of. Don't really like 'em. They weird me out...worrying about smashing them somehow - weird. Dudes' obsession with them, touching them, scratching them, talking about them - weird. The wrinkles - double weird.

So it should be no surprise that I am not at all versed in the ins and outs of ball health. In fact, I am giggling right now like a total moron. Just typing the word "balls" and giggling, thinking about balls and trying not to say the word out loud...just Jen your most flawed blogger, sitting here laughing out loud, alone in my living room, with windows in my Chrome page open to ball health webpages. Creepin on some balls. 

Can't handle it.

I know everything there is to know about women's health. Breast, cervix, uterus, estrogen, you name it, I know it.

But not balls. Had a whiff of biological reason in my arsenal. That's it. I had no clue. Up until today, of course.


November is also Movember - the month of mustaches. These mustaches act as a walking billboard to promote men's health awareness. They are "changing the face of men's health".....see what they did there...I am in love with the creative mind that made that one up....pulls at my copywriter heartstrings like no other...And if I'm any indication of the female populations' knowledge base, we need a helluva lot more mustaches.


Men love to talk about balls, amiright? It's pretty insane how many times I needed to hear the word "teabag" in college. But I never heard about ball problems. Or problems with any other part of a guy's body. I know when men get colds, because it's like the world is ending, but when guys find a lump somewhere, they just wait for it to go away or literally explode. Serious stuff isn't talked about. I never hear about it. I mean, think about it, can you think of a single guy who voluntarily goes to the doctor for yearly preventative exams? No, I'm not talking about men with chronic conditions, I'm talking about those dudes I know, friends and family of mine, who almost refuse to see a doctor. Ever.

When my girlfriends are ill, I know right away. They'll text me or call me and while they always keep on trucking, they talk about it. 

Any chance you can watch my kids so I can go to the doctor? Yeah my lady visit. Oh joy.

I am seriously so sad, I cannot even.

Jen's pap came back abnormal. Yeah you should totally text her later this week. Don't tell her I told you.

My cramps made me throw up in public today.

Does it matter that Mama's had a headache for two weeks? I didn't think so!  

I love my menstrual cup. You need to try it.

I mean, women are vocal. If something is bothering us or we're not feeling good, chances are we'll say something or lean on one another to get through the illness, especially if it's serious. But guys?

Hey man, heard your skin, like, burns or some shit.

Are you contagious?

You went to the hospital? I hate hospitals. Did you have a hott nurse at least?

That sucks. 

Jake hasn't shown up for practice in like a month. Eh, he's prolly fine.

Man up.

It's no wonder men's health and wellness sometimes gets lost under layers of pink ribbons and scarves. Men just aren't as vocal. And women, as much as we (occasionally) love men, are sometimes too busy worrying about our own intricate bodies and health concerns to try and educate ourselves about the bodies of the other half. I mean, shouldn't they know about their own junk? Why should we have to know about that jazz? 

Cuz we're women and we have a civic duty as strong, smart, quick goddesses to help those less fortunate. ;) And because guys need love too. 

So let's nab some quick facts:

Prostate cancer is the most common major cancer in men.

Men are 4 times more likely to commit suicide than women. 

And testicular cancer hits them young.

How can we help?

The Prostate Cancer Foundation has a (hilarious) Mo Bros and Mo Sistas campaign that raised over $126.3 million dollars last year. A description of the funding strategy (incredibly easy to read) can be found here.

The Testicular Cancer Foundation has teamed up with Tommy John to create the Support Your Balls campaign (seriously cannot stop giggling) - they have an Instagram challenge running until the end of the month where you can snap a pic of two things that look like balls, *snicker* tag them with #SupportYourBalls, and follow them (@TommyJohnWear and @TesticularCancerFederation) for a chance to win a free pair of men's underwear. Bonus points - Tommy John is donating $1 for each entry... Also, and this is important, they have half-naked hot men messing around with/in underwear on their webpage. Seriously, they have videos for each product. And they're an underwear company. Just think about that for a second. And no, I am not getting compensated in any way. It would be an injustice to all women to not share that info. Plus, men's health and stuff. 


Support the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. They host walks all over the country and take donations year-round. Men's mental health is just as important as their bodily health....and even harder to diagnose. 

Casually ask a guy you know if he's going to participate in Movember. It's a nice ice breaker because the only thing dudes like to talk about more than their balls is their facial hair. 


Plus mustaches are hott. 

How about you, dear readers? How would you grade your men's health knowledge? Did you know what Movember was all about? Know any men in your life who could benefit from a little more Mo? I'd love to hear about it in the comments down below and as always, thank you for reading!