Monday, November 2, 2015

Weirdest Stuff I Found in My Kid's Halloween Bag

It's that time of year again, folks. The devil himself, disguised as so many delicious little morsels of sweet goodness, is in my home. He is fruity. He is peanut buttery. He is my favorite breed of kat. Calling all gym rats - send me your power! This is the beginning of the end...it all starts with Halloween....then turkey all up in my life.....then Christmas cookies and hot chocolate and mashed potatoes divine.

So let's pretend I am resisting the temptation. Let's pretend I am not typing with one hand while another clutches a snack-sized Heath bar on it's merry little way to my mouth.

And let's sit back and reflect on the other things I found in my kid's Halloween bag this year. You know what I'm talking about. The different things. The weird things. The things that make you look down into your sack and say, "huh?"

Now for the record, I am a fan of anything free. If you're handing out something on Halloween, you rock, especially if you don't have kids of your own or don't particularly like children. I consider all Halloween distributors generous souls.

But some stuff is just weird.



I remember a time when Laffy Taffy consisted of only fruity, neon-colored flavors. And banana. How can you forget banana laffy taffy. But then I saw this. No artificial flavors, hm? So you're telling me a little mug of steaming cocoa with marshmallows in it was somehow dropped into your vat of taffy and then poof - out you came? What happened to you, Laffy Taffy. What happened to you.



Didn't even realize they still made these. True story. I see they've updated their package to keep with the times - Gluten Free! Nut Free! For all those lil' ones who wish to go vintage!



Halloween popcorn. I won't go into a tangent about why microwave popcorn is horrific...especially while eating a Butterfinger....but trust me, it's apparently horrific for you. Normally, I think bagged (read - already popped) popcorn is great as an alternative option for kids with sugar sensitivities (haha). I think it's a thoughtful gesture. But that Act II stuff you see pictured below? It expires in two days. Do you know how long it takes for popcorn to expire? Thanks for the tease, neighbor lady.



Go home, Lemonheads. You're drunk.



Did you just hand my kid a diet soda? You know Jen believes in Jesus when she manages to smile and not chuck a can of diet soda back at the lady who just handed it to her little girl.



And now, for the piece de resistance, this lovely hunk of curiosity. Yes, that is a fruit cake. And not just a little fruit cake, that thing could serve 4-6 people, easily. My kid came trotting back from the house smiling and saying, "Wow! I just got a fruitcake!" and I subconsciously tuned it out per the Parent Handbook for Creative and Imaginative Children and then I opened her bag and sure enough, fruit cake.


Oddities are fun, aren't they? I certainly enjoyed opening my kids' Halloween bags and finding all the incredible things I could eat when they went to bed creative ways people in my neighborhood handle trick-or-treaters.

What about you, dear readers? What's the strangest thing you found in your kid's Halloween bag? Do you remember receiving something weird in your candy bag when you were little? I'd love to hear about it in the comments down below and as always, thank you so much for reading!

Jen