Because yes. Yes, I am doing it - National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo for those of us who prefer nerdspeak. NaNoWriMo happens every November. The goal is very simple: write 50,000 words, the average length of a novel, in 30 days.
To break it down by day, you need to write 1,667 words every day to be a winner. I'm going to keep posting here every Friday, like I normally do, but it may be gibberish, I may have an English accent, I may be a bit whacked out.
The crazy, crazy readers who've been with me a while know I am a tad bit crazy about writing a novel. It's a dream, something I know absolutely nothing about. It terrifies me and calms me at the same time - I hate the risk, the vulnerability, it scares me to death. But then I also feel a little relieved...as if to say finally. This is my reason, my chance, my opportunity - I can say no with no guilt. I can wrap myself in my head and my world for hours, days, and have a legit excuse...because, my lovely readers, I kinda think the page is where my anxiety has belonged all along. I think my intense, dramatic stress always needed to be shoved behind the characters in my head, the scenes I dream up with so much texture and realism I can feel the chill in the air, the warmth of the blankets, the uncurling comfort of the red wine.
I always thought hey, I'll quit my job, freelance on the side, and write my book at night. I will take this unquenchable thirst and I will feed it, every night, in a quiet place, a zen place, with tea and good smells and all the lovely things.
And then life happened. I am tired, oh so tired. By 9PM I am dragging my feet, falling into bed wearing whatever I have on, thinking about how I need to do it all over again tomorrow. I don't write. I don't make it a priority over sleep, or time with family and frends, or anything, really. I am a lazy bones who lets everything else come first.
That's what's different about NaNo. I've told my family. I've explained it to those I love. And I mean it. I've declined invitations and will continue to do so. Thanksgiving, a long school break, my husband's b-day, these are important, yes. But I am not going to go nuts trying to bend over backwards for anyone this year. Bare minimum is what you will get from me - because for once I. Need. This.
It could amount to nothing. I could decide I hate writing and never do it again. It's a very real possibility, people. But I'm hoping that's not the case. I'm hoping I love it, and it fills that hole in my heart that sometimes screams "FAILURE!" I hope writing provides me with the outlet I need to keep my fingers from itching and my relationships from becoming cluttered with all the messy components of my mind.
And see, that's where you come in.
I wish I could explain how happy it makes me when you comment, or like my posts, or mention in person how much you enjoy my blog. I wish there was a way for me to express how much that means to me.....hmmm...ok....ok....so how 'bout this. Sit back. Think about your celebrity crush. Got their face in your head? Picturing all that hottness swirling around? Ok now imagine yourself walking to your front door, opening it, and having that person swoop in, grab you with both hands, kiss you like it was their last day on earth, smile while looking right into your stunned little eyes, and then walk away...looking back once, flashing that smile, then gone.
It's like that. My heart races, I get an immediate jolt of surprise, thrill, excitement, and then a slight feeling of embarrassment, followed by pride and the biggest ego boost anyone's ever had, ever. And that feeling stays with me for a little while. It follows me around throughout the day. It's that good.
So I want to include you in this NaNo thing. You, my happy-makers. I have a few book ideas...some are considered NaNo "rebel" projects because they are memoirs. Technically a novel needs to be a work of fiction so a memoir project would make me a rebel. I'm ok with that. Obvs.
So here we go. Here are the ideas I came up with.
1. "7 Years, 14 Boys, and Still No Clue" - Memoir detailing the men. All of 'em. Oh yes, I went there. Are you really that surprised?
2. "Just as Sweet" - A fiction novel about a suburban woman who has an affair with another woman outside of her male-female marriage. This book centers around the common misconception that life is greener on the other side. I lean pretty heavily on the belief that what you've often wanted, you've never really needed and what you've always needed, you've had all along. You'll follow along with Avery as she journeys towards self-acceptance and reliance on her own approval and internal sources of happiness.
3. "An Egg on Toast" - Another memoir, this one detailing my experience with infidelity. This book would be written with the intention of proving hope to others.
4. "Temper Like Rain" - Another fiction novel. In this book you'll see life through the eyes of Caroline, a young girl who grew up in the south in a semi-abusive home that resulted in a series of bad relationships throughout her youth. She stumbles upon the opportunity to move north, into a rather haunted old home passed down from her grandmother and best friend, Gramma Cara. Spooky!
5. "Places, Places Everywhere but Not a Home to Spare" - Another memoir. I will take you with me on my various travels and introduce you to the five states, two countries, and nine different living quarters I encountered in the eight years following high school graduation.
Keep in mind my writing style is slightly sarcastic when I'm talking about myself and a little more dreamy/descriptive when I'm describing a story or idea. I hate to think my fiction ideas are "romance" novels because I won't be talking about pant-bulges and ripping corsets, but I will delve into relationships, specifically love relationships, so I guess "romance" is the accurate category.
What do you think? A tale from a girl with daddy issues or a fiction novel? Which one would you be more likely to pick up at a bookstore or from the library? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments down below and as always, thank you very, very much for reading :)