Monday, November 2, 2015

Weirdest Stuff I Found in My Kid's Halloween Bag

It's that time of year again, folks. The devil himself, disguised as so many delicious little morsels of sweet goodness, is in my home. He is fruity. He is peanut buttery. He is my favorite breed of kat. Calling all gym rats - send me your power! This is the beginning of the end...it all starts with Halloween....then turkey all up in my life.....then Christmas cookies and hot chocolate and mashed potatoes divine.

So let's pretend I am resisting the temptation. Let's pretend I am not typing with one hand while another clutches a snack-sized Heath bar on it's merry little way to my mouth.

And let's sit back and reflect on the other things I found in my kid's Halloween bag this year. You know what I'm talking about. The different things. The weird things. The things that make you look down into your sack and say, "huh?"

Now for the record, I am a fan of anything free. If you're handing out something on Halloween, you rock, especially if you don't have kids of your own or don't particularly like children. I consider all Halloween distributors generous souls.

But some stuff is just weird.



I remember a time when Laffy Taffy consisted of only fruity, neon-colored flavors. And banana. How can you forget banana laffy taffy. But then I saw this. No artificial flavors, hm? So you're telling me a little mug of steaming cocoa with marshmallows in it was somehow dropped into your vat of taffy and then poof - out you came? What happened to you, Laffy Taffy. What happened to you.



Didn't even realize they still made these. True story. I see they've updated their package to keep with the times - Gluten Free! Nut Free! For all those lil' ones who wish to go vintage!



Halloween popcorn. I won't go into a tangent about why microwave popcorn is horrific...especially while eating a Butterfinger....but trust me, it's apparently horrific for you. Normally, I think bagged (read - already popped) popcorn is great as an alternative option for kids with sugar sensitivities (haha). I think it's a thoughtful gesture. But that Act II stuff you see pictured below? It expires in two days. Do you know how long it takes for popcorn to expire? Thanks for the tease, neighbor lady.



Go home, Lemonheads. You're drunk.



Did you just hand my kid a diet soda? You know Jen believes in Jesus when she manages to smile and not chuck a can of diet soda back at the lady who just handed it to her little girl.



And now, for the piece de resistance, this lovely hunk of curiosity. Yes, that is a fruit cake. And not just a little fruit cake, that thing could serve 4-6 people, easily. My kid came trotting back from the house smiling and saying, "Wow! I just got a fruitcake!" and I subconsciously tuned it out per the Parent Handbook for Creative and Imaginative Children and then I opened her bag and sure enough, fruit cake.


Oddities are fun, aren't they? I certainly enjoyed opening my kids' Halloween bags and finding all the incredible things I could eat when they went to bed creative ways people in my neighborhood handle trick-or-treaters.

What about you, dear readers? What's the strangest thing you found in your kid's Halloween bag? Do you remember receiving something weird in your candy bag when you were little? I'd love to hear about it in the comments down below and as always, thank you so much for reading!

Jen

18 comments:

  1. Haha. This is hilarious. The fruit cake wins. Did that person have hundreds of fruit cake? Well, I'm a Malaysian, so no trick or treating for me ever before.

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    1. Haha I know, right? I was dying laughing. I could just picture them with a hill of fruitcakes just inside the front door. Thanks for stopping by!

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    1. Totally weird! I was confused to say the least!

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  3. I don't have any kids, but I remember getting some weird candy alternatives in my pumpkin bag growing up! I totally agree about the popcorn... I don't think we ever put that in the microwave. I'm laughing so hard about the fruitcake though... it seems like they just ran out of candy and decided to give out the next best thing?? Hahaha

    Kayla | kaylablogs.com

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    1. Hahahaha I wonder the same thing - although who has fruitcakes laying around?? So weird!

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  4. LOL, that fruitcake probably came from the prior Christmas. Your family received some pretty weird stuff!

    *cough my fiance and I may or may not have been trick or treating while walking the dog in the peanuts gang costume* We also had popcorn which had realtors business cards attached to it saying 'want to pop into a new home?". That's creative marketing haha!

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    1. Oh totally - and can I please tell you that I think it's HILARIOUS you went trick or treating with your dog?? And you have some inventive and smart neighbors!!

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  5. Sixlets are the WORST! I just asked my husband Saturday night if they still made these so I could be on the look out for them. I would always grab a pack thinking they were Gobstoppers and end up biting into crappy chocolate. BLEH!

    Your daughter's excitement about the fruit cake is hilarious.

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    1. Right! I can't stand those things but I had two comments on my Facebook feed that they're the best things ever. I love me a good Gobstopper!! Haha color-changing goodness!

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  6. When I was a kid there was one house that ALWAYS gave out popcorn! That's gross it's expired though :(

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    1. Right! I think it was another "WHOOPS" no candy attempt

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  7. This is hilarious! The oddest thing my son got was a little bag of cheetos.

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    1. Dude I would've eaten those before he even got home. Love me some Cheetos! And since I don't buy them anymore I could totally see myself pigging the heck out on some orange-powdered-crunchies!

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  8. "But that Act II stuff you see pictured below? It expires in two days. Do you know how long it takes for popcorn to expire? Thanks for the tease, neighbor lady." LMFAO!!! Cheap bish tell her to keep that ish next time and get some REAL candy. At least something that won't expire for months.. That's turrible! We are in an apartment building so no trick or treaters, which is fine because we don't care for the holiday. Lol. If my son needs candy I'll get him what he wants. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving though - love me some turkey! Going to friends house and stopping by family homes so it'll be a day full of migration and fun! :) Have a great one lovely Jen! :) -Iva

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    1. HAHAHA thanks Iva! It was so funny going through their bags this year. I hate all the leftover candy, tho.....it seems to hang around forEVer! I am gonna be a chunk before Thanksgiving comes around! And Thanksgiving is typically my favorite holiday....gotta save the extra pounds for later this month! I am a huge mashed potatoes and stuffing person! PUT IT ALL IN MY MOUTH!

      Thanks for stopping by Iva! Have a great weekend!

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  9. Fruitcake? That's so random. Just NO on the diet pop. I love popcorn, but we do the old-school popcorn made in a pot on the stove. It probably would also be weird to hand out bags of plain old popcorn kernels...and really cheap, haha.

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    1. Right? I think the diet soda was the most hilarious. I was really calling upon my inner spiritual power to keep my head on straight with that one. So crazy.

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